My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
