can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
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