Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I have post one night stand depression
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