just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
This couple is walking their pig around campus
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
