I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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