i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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