is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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