We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
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Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
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She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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