It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
You may now shotgun with the bride
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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