I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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