He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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