no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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