I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
