The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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