There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
