omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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