I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
