i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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