i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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