I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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