I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
