If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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