do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Let's paint friendship bongs
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
