Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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