What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
