I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize