This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
