GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
