Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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