I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
