Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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