mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize