Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
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