Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Randomize
