yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
