He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Randomize
