I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize