so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
