My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
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