i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
