Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
