I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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