i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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