So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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