i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
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