I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
