you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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