Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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