Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Randomize
