Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(710): View more from

Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!

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(404): View more from Georgia

What are you wearing to our high school reunion?

(678): View more from Georgia

I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"

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(912): View more from Georgia

I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(812): View more from Indiana

Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.

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(562): View more from California

It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.

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(308): View more from Nebraska

got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie

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(757): View more from Virginia

Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.

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