Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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