So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people