i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
