Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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