ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
