Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
