I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
