Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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