I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
