Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
We are two peas in an std pod
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize